| "Forty-four? the teenager asks. Yes, that's my age. At | | | | The school has told your parents that you have to go |
| least it is for another few months. That's what I tell my | | | | for counseling, and your parents have made it clear |
| young clients, even though everything inside me is | | | | that they are going to follow through with the schools |
| itching to assure them that I am 18 with 26 years of | | | | direction. You do not have to come here again, but |
| experience. Although adolescence is a time most of us | | | | that means your parents will take you to another |
| remember as stressful, awkward, and confusing, it is | | | | service that has been recommended, and you will |
| also a period of life that we often wish to recapture. | | | | have to keep replaying this until the school is satisfied |
| We do so because it was a time of adventure, | | | | that you have gone for counseling. That can be here |
| discovery, and exhilaration. The mixture of feelings we | | | | or nowhere else. If it's done here with me, that's fine, |
| experienced as teenagers is often present in the | | | | but I'd rather not spend another hour like this. If you do |
| treatment of adolescents. | | | | not want to talk about home or school, and then bring |
| Providing therapy to angry or mistrustful adolescents | | | | something in we can talk about...music, books, comics, |
| who do not even want to be in our offices, much less | | | | magazines, cards, if you like. So how about next |
| talk, is one of the most challenging scenarios we face | | | | week? Do you want me to tell my supervisor to |
| as Christian counselors. It is not one, however, that we | | | | recommend other services to your parents, or do you |
| encounter infrequently. Many teenagers come into our | | | | want to plan to come back here and bring something |
| offices reporting that The school thinks that I should be | | | | we could talk about or do next week? Johnny |
| here, or My pare not's say I need to come, or The | | | | shrugged. Does not matter. Is it true you like BMX |
| court says I have to. How do we engage these young | | | | riding? Do not they have magazines or catalogs on |
| people? Where do we begin? | | | | them? Yeah, I got a ton of them. You mean I could |
| An Angry Young Man: Johnny was one such young | | | | bring them in here to read? Sure, but if you do not |
| person I encountered very early in my career. I had | | | | want to talk about them bring in a few for me. I do not |
| just begun my first job in the field, and Johnny was a | | | | want to do charts with you sitting here. |
| middle-schooler who had been referred to services by | | | | The next week Johnny showed up with about five |
| his school. He was described as a very troubled, angry, | | | | magazines. I began learning about such things as the |
| and non-communicative young man who tended to be | | | | gear ratios and the various alloys used in the |
| a loner and was given to bizarre acting out. Reportedly | | | | manufacturing of BMX bikes. I also discovered what |
| he would regularly make all sorts of noises during class | | | | excited and disappointed this incredibly bright young |
| and frequently got out of his seat and wiggled about | | | | man. Three weeks later, we were walking toward my |
| the classroom floor like an eel. My supervisor explained | | | | office to begin our session. Johnny was moving quickly |
| that Johnny had already gone through three other | | | | and ahead of me. We have got to talk! My mom is |
| therapists and that I did not have to accept him as a | | | | really starting to tick me off! Over the next several |
| client. However, since I needed to build up my | | | | months, I continued to learn more about BMX bicycles, |
| caseload, I was free to do so. Johnny arrived at our | | | | and we got a lot of productive work done, the positive |
| first session wearing jeans, sneakers, a black T-shirt, | | | | effects of which were reported from school and the |
| and a partially opened black leather jacket. Plopping | | | | home. |
| into a chair, he pushed himself into the corner as he | | | | Drawing on our own Creativity: Across my |
| straightened out his legs. He dropped his chin to his | | | | professional career I have matured (hopefully) as a |
| chest and flipped up the collar of his jacket, which he | | | | counselor through continued training and experience. I |
| then zipped closed with an angry jerk. Any little shift of | | | | have learned to incorporate and refine joining, |
| my head to catch some glimpse of his face was met | | | | reframing, and paradoxical techniques to negotiate the |
| with a countering shift of the client's posture. This kid | | | | types of challenges presented by teenagers. The |
| was not allowing any contact. | | | | reason, however, I chose to share this case from my |
| All my attempts at establishing rapport bounced off | | | | first month in the field is to help us recall the intuitive |
| Johnny like a brick wall. Listen, I said to him, I know you | | | | and creative use of ourselves in helping others that |
| do not want to be here. I am sure the last thing you | | | | was there when we were first drawn into the field. |
| wanted to do was run over here as soon as school | | | | Before we had theory and training, we had ourselves, |
| let out. He lifted his head but dropped it again, shaking it | | | | our sensitivity to others, and our openness to the spirits |
| from side to side. We sat in a painfully long silence, and | | | | leading. |
| I began thinking more about how Johnny might be | | | | I strongly believe that counselors must be informed by |
| feeling right at that moment. I also began paying more | | | | theory and prepared by training, but these should |
| attention to what I was feeling about sitting there and | | | | enhance and not replace those natural gifts which |
| how I might have felt when I was his age. I thought | | | | previously existed. In working with clients, especially |
| about what I did know about Johnny and how he might | | | | those like Johnny, it is very important not to be rigidly |
| have handled those feelings if remaining in defiant, | | | | constrained by one's own therapeutic model. Ultimately, |
| Impassive silence was not his number one reason for | | | | counselors need to be directed and constrained by the |
| being. This is boring! I blurted out Johnny grunted and | | | | therapeutic relationship their knowledge of themselves |
| turned away. I made an exaggerated movement to | | | | and their clients and not by rigid allegiance to or |
| stay in his view. He turned further and I got out of my | | | | dependence upon a given model or theory. |
| chair, saying I could not take any more boredom and | | | | It is also helpful to re-frame ourselves as well as our |
| leaned against the wall to gain his view. Johnny turned | | | | clients. When we make the shift from viewing these |
| away, head down, his chin back inside his jacket. I got | | | | situations as those in which we must overcome |
| down on the floor in front of him. | | | | resistance to those in which we must increase client |
| I shifted back and forth a few times, checked my | | | | readiness, we make an Important attitudinal shift one |
| watch, and got back in my chair facing him. Look, I do | | | | that will reinforce our roles as facilitators and will help |
| not know about you, but just sitting here feels like | | | | protect us from viewing our clients as adversaries. Find |
| detention. Johnny's head popped up, curious and | | | | a counselor for suggestions. |
| mistrustful. Getting out of my chair and onto the floor | | | | It is also important to find something in our clients that is |
| makes it a little better, but it also makes me feel stupid | | | | likable and interesting and delve into their interests. |
| and probably has you thinking I am pretty weird. There | | | | Most Importantly, we need to be willing to join our |
| is got to be a better way of spending our time | | | | clients on their own ground, to enter their territory. This |
| together. If you do not want to come back next week, | | | | may involve assuming a one-down position from time |
| Ill tell my supervisor that this isn't going to be productive, | | | | to time, but isn't that Implicit at a certain level in all our |
| and you won't have to return. Johnny sat up straighter. | | | | therapy? That is, how can we expect to help our |
| But here is your situation. | | | | clients if we do not first learn from them? |