In this article, I will be sharing proven tips that have helped individuals in the past in resolving conflicts in relationships. Disagreements are inevitable in relationships, and once or twice, we might be tempted to just give up or escalate the conflict until we don’t realize when we have a massive crowd outside our doors, prying into our business. These disagreements could stem from something that seems trivial such as a partner forgetting to close the toilets sit or leaving the dirty dishes unattended in the dishwasher or it could stem from something serious that could make us want to question ourselves if we really want to continue with this person.
Whatever the reason for the conflict might be, we can only decide on the best way we want to resolve this conflict without escalating it further. Learning how to resolve conflicts in a quiet and healthy way is a skill everyone in a relationship should imbibe. Every couple argues and disagrees once in a while- conflicts and arguments in a relationship aren’t a bad thing, in fact having disagreements once in a while gives us the opportunity to get to know more about our partners but there are ways to tackle these conflicts when it arises without escalating it.
This article will provide tips on ways to resolve conflicts in relationships without involving a crowd.
Tips for Resolving Conflicts in Relationships
- Listen: During disagreements, it can be very difficult to listen especially when voices are raised and both parties are trying to prove a point. But in the midst of the brewing chaos, if you try to calm down and listen to each other and truly understand where the other person is coming from, put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you could begin to see things from their angle. Nothing hurts more than realizing you misunderstood your partner all along – listening to them will let you understand the angle of their argument and give you a chance to discuss it properly without any assumptions.
While listening, try to stay calm and also pay close attention to the gestures and actions of your partner. Avoid interruptions as much as you can and make sure you show them that you are actively listening to them.
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- Talk to each other: Talking to each other is the best way to truly communicate your feelings and know your partner’s worries, fear or anger. When talking, try to stay as calm as possible and avoid interrupting your partner. Take turns to address the issue and figure out ways to tackle the root cause of the conflict.
Talking to your partner is a great way to avoid any form of escalation or fight. It is one thing to talk about in order to get to the root of the issue and another thing to argue or try to be confrontational when talking. Talking in a confrontational way often give rise to further argument and fights which is why the need to stay calm while talking cannot be overemphasized. The best way to avoid arguing or interruptions when talking is to take turns by setting up a time limit for each person to talk about their feelings and emotions.
- Talk about your emotions: While addressing the cause of the conflict, don’t forget to discuss how your partner’s actions and in-actions make you feel. This approach will help your partner realize how much his or her action affects you and also allow you to address the misunderstanding properly. Addressing feelings such as anger, guilt or fear will give you an insight into how to avoid such conflict from reoccurring later in the future.
- Find a common ground: After paying attention to each other’s worries, needs and fear, the next step is to find a common ground where your needs and your partner’s needs are resolved amicably without anyone feeling cheated or at the receiving end. The best way to do this is to negotiate with your partner and think of the conflict as a problem both of you can solve together to move the relationship forward. Identify the issues you can compromise on and find a middle ground.
Realize that solving conflicts amicably in a relationship is a great way to learn more about your partner and seek out ways in which you can accommodate each other. Finding a common ground and making the necessary adjustment will help you resolve conflicts without involving the crowd.
- Forgive: Conflicts are not really resolved if there is no forgiveness. That is why you need to talk to your partner, listen to them and decide if there is a need to resolve the conflict and maintain the relationship. Forgiving your partner might not be so easy – but just as every relationship requires one to put in the work to maintain it, forgiveness also involves a lot of work.
While working on forgiving your partner, try not to bring up past hurts or guilt-trip your partner using their past mistakes.
- Devise strategies to avoid conflicts in the future: This is also a great tip for resolving conflicts in relationships. To avoid similar conflicts reoccurring in future, the best approach is to discuss with your partner and seek ways to resolve similar conflicts that might occur in the future and how to prevent it from escalating. Focus on the positive part of your relationship instead, appreciate your partner more, spend more quality time together and try as much as possible to improve your communication skills with your partner.
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Conflict is a normal part of the relationship, you and your partner will not always be on the same page and that is absolutely fine but maintaining a relationship and resolving conflicts in relationships is a conscious effort that requires both parties to put in the work towards sustaining the relationship. Cultivate the habit of listening to your partner and putting yourself in their shoe. Spend time together and constantly seek ways to find solutions to your disagreement instead of trying to prove how right you are. Seek professional help if you feel you can no longer handle the problem by yourselves.